For Teens: How to Speak Up For Yourself and Be Heard
Have you ever felt like you can’t share your feelings, no one listens to you, or no one understands you?
If you answered YES to any of those questions, you're not alone. That’s why we designed the following tools and strategies to help you share what you're thinking and how you're feeling.
After all, no one can read your mind. It''s up to you to advocate for yourself.
Learning how to advocate for yourself isn’t about being loud or bossy—it’s about knowing your needs and speaking up with confidence and clarity. It’s a game-changing skill everyone deserves to master.
At ZGiRLS, we teach tweens and teens like you how to communicate clearly, navigate tough conversations, and express their needs without fear. When we learn to advocate for themselves, we build stronger relationships, reduce anxiety, and boost our self-worth.
Below, we get into practical tips you can use to speak up for yourself.
What does it mean to advocate for yourself?
Self-advocacy is the ability to recognize and express your feelings, thoughts, and needs—even when it’s hard. It’s about saying:
“I need help with this.”
“I feel left out.”
“This doesn’t feel okay to me.”
It’s not easy. But with the right tools (and a little practice), it becomes a lifelong superpower.
Girls who learn to advocate for themselves are more likely to:
✔ Build healthy boundaries
✔ Speak up in class and social settings
✔ Navigate conflict with courage
✔ Feel seen, heard, and respected
In a world where girls often feel pressure to stay small, self-advocacy is how they reclaim their space.
You deserve to be heard: 3 tools to advocate for yourself
1. Identify how you feel
Self-advocacy starts with emotional awareness. Ever felt overwhelmed but didn’t know why? You’re not alone. Before you can speak up, you have to know what you’re feeling!
Sometimes, that starts by tuning into your body.
Your body is like a feelings compass. Here are some clues to watch out for:
😢 Sad? Heavy chest, sinking stomach, tears welling up.
😡 Angry? Clenched fists, flushed face.
😰 Scared? Racing heart, shaky hands.
😊 Happy? Lightness in your chest, warm smile.
💪 Confident? Steady breath, clear thoughts.
Try this: Write down three emotions you’ve felt today. Then, next to each, try to describe how it felt in your body. Below is an emotions wheel to help you identify exactly how you’re feeling:
Save this to your phone!
2. Use “I feel” statements
Using “I feel” is like a communication superpower. It can help you express yourself honestly and respectfully.
“I feel [emotion]” + “when [situation]” + “because [impact]”
For example,
🛑 Instead of: “You’re always interrupting me and never let me speak.”
✅ Try: “I feel frustrated when I get interrupted during conversations because it makes me feel like my opinion doesn’t matter.”
Other powerful examples:
“I feel hurt when you joke about me in front of others because it makes me feel alone and disrespected.”
“I feel angry when you ignore my texts because it makes me feel like you don’t care.”
Try this: Write your own “I feel” statement about something small that bothered you this week. Keep it simple. Practice it in the mirror or jot it down in your journal.
Parent tip (if you decide to share this)! When your daughter opens up, reflect back her feelings. Try: “So it sounds like you feel ___ when ___ because ___. Is that right?”
RELATED: How to help your teen manage academic pressure.
3. Listen and pause
It’s easy to get caught up waiting for your turn to speak. But true communication means slowing down, pausing, and creating space for understanding, both for yourself and the other person.
Pay attention: Look the other person in the eye when they’re speaking.
Be patient: Let them finish their thought, even if you’re eager to jump in.
Participate: Nod, respond, and show you're truly engaged.
Remember the power of the pause! It might feel awkward but, taking a moment to pause before responding helps you to: think clearly, understand how you feel, and respond thoughtfully.
Try this: In your next conversation, pause for a few seconds before responding. Then, try asking one thoughtful follow-up question.
4. Ask questions!
Questions show people you care and want to understand them better. Here are some brave, connection-building suggestions:
“Okay, so you’re feeling [emotion] because of [situation], right?”
“Can you explain that another way? I want to really make sure I understand.”
“Why did that make you upset?”
Asking questions like these takes courage and it can completely shift the tone of a conversation. It shows the other person that you’re not just waiting for your turn to talk. You’re listening, you care, and you want to understand them.
Remember, good communication isn’t about being right or getting your point across the fastest. It’s about connection. Every time you ask a thoughtful question, you’re building stronger relationships and growing your confidence.
So be bold. Be curious. Your voice matters.
Learn from the ZGiRLS Mindset Journal
Taken from The ZGiRLS Mindset Journal from the Confidence Program.
When you’re trying to share something difficult or how you feel, it will almost always feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable conversations are uncomfortable. So, you have to be brave and take action to share how you feel.
Save these tips from our Mindset Journal, given to every Confidence Program participant, the next time you need a communication reminder.
Take the next step forward in your journey
We believe every girl deserves to feel heard, respected, and powerful. Advocating for yourself is a skill that takes practice, but every time you use your voice, you're becoming more confident, more courageous, and more YOU.
You’ve got this. And we’re cheering you on every step of the way. 💛
📢 Looking for more tools to feel strong, brave, and unstoppable? Talk to your parents about joining the next online ZGiRLS Confidence Program!