What “How to Train Your Dragon” Teaches Us About Raising Confident Girls
Credit: Universal Studios
The upcoming live-action remake of How to Train Your Dragon may center on a teenage boy, but the lessons it offers are deeply relevant to every preteen and teenager… especially girls navigating one of the most emotionally complex phases of their lives.
If you're planning to take your daughter to see the movie this summer, consider it more than just a fun outing. It’s an opportunity to notice what’s beneath the surface: themes of identity, belonging, fear, and growth. All of which mirror the inner world of girls ages 11 to 14.
Here are five takeaways parents can hold onto long after the credits roll.
1. Courage isn’t loud or perfect.
Hiccup, the main character, isn’t the strongest, the fastest, or the most popular. He’s awkward, sensitive, and unsure of where he fits in. But, his courage doesn’t come from suddenly becoming someone else. It comes from choosing to act in small, meaningful ways… even when he’s afraid.
For girls in middle school, confidence often feels like something they’re supposed to have figured out already. In reality, it’s something they build step by step. What Hiccup shows them is that being scared doesn’t mean you’re not brave. It means you’re growing.
Confidence isn’t about being fearless. It’s about choosing action even when fear is present.
2. Being different is not a weakness, it’s a gift.
Hiccup stands out in his village. He’s not who others expect him to be. He tries to fit in and please his father but in the end, he learns that he has to stay true to himself. So instead of fighting dragons, he befriends one. And that choice—born from empathy, not aggression—shifts everything.
Girls today face enormous pressure to fit in, particularly from their peers and society. They’re surrounded by messages telling them who they should be, how they should look, and what makes them “worthy.” This story flips that narrative.
It reminds us that standing out, thinking differently, or feeling deeply is not something to hide. It’s something to protect and nurture.
What your daughter may need to hear: “You don’t have to change who you are to be accepted. You are enough, just as you are.”
3. Parenting during the identity shift means leading with curiosity, not control.
Hiccup’s relationship with his father, Stoick, reflects a familiar tension: the parent who wants to protect and shape, and the child who wants to be seen and understood. Stoick wants Hiccup to be a certain kind of warrior. Hiccup wants to be accepted for the kind of leader he actually is.
That push and pull is real in middle school. Your daughter is figuring out who she is, and her choices may not always match your expectations. The most powerful things you can do? Stay curious. Ask questions. Listen deeply. Let her feel safe enough to keep unfolding in front of you. Surround her with a growth-minded community
Your daughter becomes who she believes she is, and who she sees around her. If she’s in an environment where people uplift each other and mentors model perseverance, she’s more likely to internalize those values.
The more curious you are about who your daughter is becoming, the more likely she is to stay connected to you while she figures it out.
4. Real strength is forged in connection, not isolation.
Credit: Universal Studios
Hiccup and Toothless grow stronger together. Their bond is rooted in trust, mutual respect, and vulnerability. It's not about power. It’s about partnership.
The same is true of Hiccup and Astrid (pictured). At first, she’s skeptical of him. She’s bold, capable, and doesn’t easily trust people who don’t follow the rules. But over time, their friendship evolves. She learns to see his strengths, even when they don’t look like hers. And Hiccup, in turn, grows more confident because someone he respects believes in him.
This is a valuable reminder for parents and daughters alike. Girls don’t need to go it alone. In fact, connection can help build resilience. When girls feel truly supported by family, mentors, and peers, they begin to believe in their own strength.
What girls need most: to know they’re not alone in their struggles and not invisible in the crowd. Connection builds courage.
5. The world changes when we allow ourselves to change, too.
No spoilers here, but perhaps the biggest lesson in How to Train Your Dragon is this: transformation is possible. And not just for Hiccup, but for everyone around him. His willingness to lead with compassion ultimately shifts the culture of his entire village.
For parents raising daughters during adolescence, that message matters. It reminds us that growth is ongoing, for all of us. That our daughters will stumble, stretch, evolve—and so will we. We’re not raising girls to be perfect. We’re guiding them to be powerful in their own way.
Your own willingness to grow can create the kind of environment where your daughter, and your entire family, can thrive.
Final thought: Strength looks different for everyone.
In How to Train Your Dragon, leadership isn’t loud or polished… It's rooted in empathy, persistence, and staying true to yourself. The same is true for your daughter. She’s not here to become someone else’s version of “strong.” She’s here to become fully themselves.
And your job? To nurture a space where that can happen.
Try this at home:
Ask her, “What do you love about yourself that others might not see?”
Tell her the things you admire most that have nothing to do with how she looks or what she achieves.
Consider signing her up for a class, like the online ZGiRLS Confidence Program, where she can gain more tools to build her inner strength.
Girls who are celebrated for who they are, not who they think they have to be, develop stronger self-worth.
You’re doing great. ZGiRLS is here for your family.
ZGiRLS equips girls aged 11-14 with the mental health tools and resources to build lifelong confidence, resilience, and unwavering self-worth. Learn more about how we help tweens and teens realize their fullest potential.