How to Help Your Teen Deal with School Cyberbullying
It’s heartbreaking to think that your daughter could be singled out and targeted by a bully online. Cyberbullying is more than just words on a device—it can invade the victim’s sense of safety and self-worth, especially when it comes from someone they see every day at school.
As parents, we have the instinct to protect our children, and in this digital world, it’s not always clear how to take action.
This guide will provide you with practical, compassionate steps to support your teen—starting with recognizing cyberbullying signs, taking thoughtful action, and helping her rebuild confidence in the aftermath.
Recognizing the signs of cyberbullying
Cyberbullying can take many forms, from hurtful messages and social exclusion to public shaming or online harassment. Victims may be reluctant to speak up about it, fearing judgment or feeling embarrassed.
Being able to recognize the signs of cyberbullying is a crucial first step in helping your daughter.
Common signs of cyberbullying:
Emotional changes: If your daughter seems more anxious, sad, or withdrawn than usual, it could be a sign of cyberbullying. Watch for increased irritability or mood swings, especially after she spends time online.
Avoiding school or social situations: Bullying by a classmate can make school a hostile environment. If your daughter suddenly wants to skip school or avoid social gatherings, this could be a red flag.
Changes in online behavior: A teen experiencing cyberbullying may withdraw from social media or, conversely, obsessively check her phone, anxiously awaiting messages from the bully.
Physical symptoms: Stress from bullying can cause headaches, stomach aches, or trouble sleeping.
You need to know about: Deepfakes
The rise of deepfake technology—which uses artificial intelligence to create realistic, altered videos and images—has introduced a new layer of complexity to online harassment.
For teens, the idea of seeing their face or voice manipulated in ways they never intended is especially frightening. Deepfakes aren't just used to create pranks or memes; they can be weaponized to spread false information, humiliate someone, or damage their reputation.
If your daughter is the target of a deepfake, the emotional impact can be heartbreaking. Unlike traditional forms of cyberbullying, deepfakes can make her feel like she has no control over how others perceive her online.
What can you do as a parent?
The first step is education. Many teens aren’t aware of how advanced this technology has become or how easily it can be misused. Let her know that if she ever comes across content like this involving herself or someone she knows, it’s essential to tell you right away.
If your daughter becomes a victim of a deepfake, report it immediately to the social media platforms where it appears.
Many platforms are stepping up efforts to detect and remove deepfakes, but it often takes action on your part to get these damaging images or videos taken down.
Encouraging her to share with you
Once you’ve recognized the signs of cyberbullying, it’s important to approach your daughter with care. Creating a safe, non-judgmental space for conversation is key to understanding the situation and making her feel supported.
Be a safe space
Start by reassuring your daughter that she can talk to you about anything, and that you’re on her side. Use a gentle approach and avoid accusatory language.
You might say, “I’ve noticed you haven’t hung out with a certain friend group in awhile. Is there anything you want to talk about? I’m here to listen.”
Encourage your daughter to share as much or as little as she’s comfortable with. She may need time before opening up fully, but letting her know you’re available without judgment is crucial.
Listen before acting
Once your daughter starts to open up, listen carefully and avoid jumping straight to solutions.
Teens often feel powerless during bullying situations, and offering them space to vent without interruption can be healing in itself.
Ask questions like, “How long has this been going on?” or “How are you feeling about what’s happening?”
Encourage your daughter to use “I feel” statements, such as “I feel hurt when my classmate posts mean comments about me because it makes me feel like I’m not good enough.”
At ZGiRLS, we emphasize the importance of teaching girls to express their emotions confidently and self-advocate.
RELATED: Tools for girls to express their emotions
Documenting the bullying
Once your daughter has shared details of the cyberbullying, it’s important to document the harassment. This is critical if you need to report the bullying to school administrators or online platforms.
Steps for documenting cyberbullying
Take screenshots of offensive messages, comments, or posts.
Save emails or texts that contain bullying content.
Keep a record of dates and times of each incident.
Having this documentation ensures you have clear evidence to present when reporting the behavior. It also helps your daughter feel validated and that the bullying is being taken seriously.
Reporting cyberbullying to the school and platforms
When the bully is a classmate, her school should be involved in resolving the issue. Most schools have anti-bullying policies in place to address cyberbullying.
Contact school officials
Reach out to the school’s administration—ideally the principal or a counselor—and provide the documentation you’ve gathered. Many schools are required to investigate bullying incidents, especially when they occur between students.
Emphasize that the bullying is affecting your daughter’s well-being, both at school and at home.
Be clear and calm in your communication with the school. While emotions can run high during these situations, working collaboratively with the school will be more productive than blaming or confronting the bully’s parents directly.
Report to social media platforms
Most social media platforms, such as Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok, have built-in reporting systems to deal with harassment and inappropriate behavior. Walk your daughter through the process of reporting the bully’s content, and ensure that she blocks the offending classmate.
By reporting cyberbullying to both the school and social media platforms, you’re taking tangible steps toward addressing the problem.
Rebuilding her resilience and self-worth
While addressing the immediate problem of cyberbullying is critical, it’s equally important to help your daughter rebuild her resilience and confidence in the aftermath.
Reinforce her value
Cyberbullying can deeply affect a victim’s sense of self-worth. Remind your daughter that the bully’s actions do not define who she is.
Help her focus on her unique qualities and talents, and encourage her to engage in activities that boost her confidence. The ZGiRLS Curriculum™ emphasizes self-worth as something that comes from within, not from external opinions.
Encourage daily affirmations like, “I am enough just the way I am,” or “I am worthy of respect and kindness.”
These small shifts in self-talk can have a big impact on your daughter’s overall confidence and ability to handle future challenges.
RELATED: 3 ways to help your daughter be nicer to herself
Encourage positive online interactions
Not all online interactions are harmful. Encourage your daughter to engage in positive communities and follow accounts that inspire and uplift her.
Help her see social media as a tool for connection and learning, rather than comparison or conflict.
Teach healthy coping strategies
Cyberbullying can leave emotional scars, so it’s important to teach your daughter healthy ways to cope with stress and anxiety. This might include journaling, mindfulness exercises, or engaging in hobbies she loves.
By focusing on her passions and interests, she can reclaim control of her happiness.
Considering professional support
If the cyberbullying has caused significant emotional distress or if your daughter’s mental health seems to be deteriorating, consider seeking help from a mental health professional.
Therapists can provide tools and coping strategies for dealing with the emotional fallout of bullying. They can also work with your daughter to rebuild confidence and reduce anxiety or depression.
Dealing with cyberbullying can be a painful and overwhelming experience for both you and your daughter. By staying informed, listening with empathy, and taking concrete action, you can help her navigate this challenging situation.
You’re doing great. ZGiRLS is here for your family.
ZGiRLS equips middle school girls with the mental health tools and resources to build lifelong confidence, resilience, and unwavering self-worth. Learn more about how we help tweens and teens realize their fullest potential.