What 1,000 Teenage Girls Revealed About Confidence in 2024—Insights Every Parent Should Know
In 2024, the ZGiRLS Confidence Program empowered over 1,000 girls ages 11-14 with the tools they need to build lasting confidence. Along with professional athletes as role models, we guided girls to explore misconceptions, face fears, and uncover an inner strength they didn’t know they had.
Based on their feedback and the proven ZGiRLS Curriculum™, we’re sharing five key insights and strategies to help you support your daughter’s confidence journey.
In this article, you’ll learn:
How to help your daughter see failure as a chance to grow.
Simple ways to build her confidence by focusing on who she is.
Why real connections matter—and how they can help her trust her inner strength.
Easy tips to support her in understanding and expressing her feelings.
The magic of “yet” and how it can teach her self-compassion.
Keep reading to discover how these strategies can help you make a lasting impact on your daughter’s self-worth and resilience.
1. Treat failure as a sign of progress
It’s only natural for you to want to protect your daughter from failure. But at ZGiRLS, we know that how we talk about failure can completely change the way girls see it—and how they can grow from it.
When failure is framed as a natural and even necessary part of growth, girls are more empowered to take risks, try again, and build resilience.
One ZGiRLS Confidence Program participant put it beautifully: "Mistakes can make you a better person and give you a deeper understanding [of what to do next time]."
This reframing is critical, as research shows that 52% of girls fear making mistakes because they worry it will disappoint others (The Girls’ Index™).
Your power: Model resilience
Your daughter learns how to handle failure in part by watching you. Do you treat your own mistakes with self-compassion and curiosity, or, with a heaping amount of self-criticism and shame?
Try modeling a healthy relationship with failure. This could look like admitting your own missteps out loud or celebrating hers as opportunities for growth. This strategy teaches her that setbacks are stepping stones, not dead ends.
2. Confidence isn’t what she does, it’s who she is
This year, ZGiRLS Confidence Program participants embraced a vital lesson: confidence isn’t only defined by your achievements. It’s rooted in self-worth—the belief that you are enough, no matter what you accomplish.
One girl said it best: “I am enough, and labels do NOT define me.”
When girls learn to root their self-worth in who they are, rather than what they do, they become less vulnerable to external pressures like comparison or perfectionism.
Your power: Focus on what matters
Praise your daughter for qualities that reflect her character—her kindness, creativity, or determination—rather than only her accomplishments. This can help her develop a sense of intrinsic self-worth.
Here’s how to reframe common praises to focus on character instead of achievements:
❌ "You're so smart!"
✅ "I’m so impressed by how you worked to learn the material."
❌ "You're the best player on the team."
✅ "Your commitment to practice and being a good teammate is inspiring."
❌ "You’re so popular!"
✅ "I admire how kind and welcoming you are to everyone around you."
By celebrating her inner qualities, you help her develop confidence that isn’t tied to winning, perfection, or comparison—but instead, to the wonderful person she already is.
3. Connection strengthens confidence (But self-worth comes from within)
With 19% of teen girls using Instagram almost constantly (Pew Research Center), it’s easy to confuse likes and comments with genuine connection. But meaningful relationships—not superficial interactions—are what truly bolster confidence.
"I learned I’m not alone… and that’s a big one for me," wrote one ZGiRL in 2024.
When girls feel genuinely supported by loved ones, they’re more empowered to trust their strengths and nurture their self-worth.
Research backs this up: students who feel connected to others are less likely to experience poor mental health or engage in risky behaviors (CDC). Connection provides a sense of belonging that helps girls develop resilience and a belief in their own abilities.
Your power: Redefine connection
Help her to see that meaningful relationships are built on mutual support and respect, and that her inner belief in herself is what truly matters.
Here are a few ways to help her understand:
Encourage her to share her feelings with trusted people who value her authenticity.
She may roll her eyes, but, emphasize that her self-worth doesn’t depend on how many likes or followers she has online.
Remind her to be proud of herself, even when no one else is watching or cheering her on.
When girls trust themselves and embrace meaningful relationships, they build confidence that’s rooted in who they are, not in how others perceive them.
4. Speaking up means understanding your feelings
Expressing emotions doesn’t come easily to many tweens and teens (or adults!), but ZGiRLS participants learned that self-advocacy starts with emotional awareness. One participant reflected, “I learned that ‘I feel’ is important.”
This is especially crucial given that 67% of girls avoid speaking up out of fear of judgment (The Girls’ Index™). Social media can amplify this fear, making it harder for girls to voice their emotions or needs.
Your power: Support her emotional toolkit
Help your daughter name and process her emotions. This includes listening without judgment and validating her feelings, even when they’re hard to hear.
Try these simple reframes:
❌ "Don't be so sensitive."
✅ "That seems really frustrating. Want to talk about it?"
❌ "You shouldn't feel that way."
✅ "I hear you. Tell me more about what's making you feel this way."
Using tools like an emotions wheel can also help her better understand and articulate her feelings, setting the foundation for confident self-advocacy.
RELATED: How to help teens navigate their emotions in a healthy way
5. Growth takes time… and the power of YET
A small word can make a big difference. Girls in the ZGiRLS Confidence Program learned the power of “yet” to help them shift from “I can’t do it” to “I can’t do it yet.”
Research supports this: girls with a growth mindset are twice as likely to pursue STEM careers, demonstrating the power of resilience and adaptability (The Girls’ Index™).
Your power: Take it step-by-step
Support your daughter in setting small, manageable goals and remind her that confidence is built through consistent effort.
Activity Idea: Create a progress tracker
Help her reflect on her progress by creating a simple three-column tracker:
"I'm working on..."
"My next small step is..."
"I'll know I'm making progress when..."
Weekly check-in questions:
What felt hard last week that feels easier now?
What's one thing you tried that didn't work out as planned?
What would you like to try next?
By embracing the power of “yet,” girls learn that growth is a journey—and that patience and persistence can lead to extraordinary results.
6. BONUS: Being brave doesn’t mean being fearless
It’s natural for you to wish you could erase your child’s fears entirely. Unfortunately, that’s not the world we live in.
But one ZGiRLS participant shared an empowering truth: “I don’t have to be fearless in order to be brave.”
Your power: Celebrate courage in action
Everyone feels scared sometimes, and that’s okay.
Celebrate your daughter’s progress by acknowledging her bravery in the moment, no matter how big or small the step. By doing so, you reinforce the idea that courage grows through practice—and that being brave doesn’t mean being fearless.
Key Takeaways 💡
Normalize mistakes: Share your own stories of failure and what you learned from them during family conversations. This shows her that mistakes are a natural part of growth.
Celebrate her individuality: Highlight the unique qualities that make her special and remind her that these are her superpowers.
Create connection opportunities: Spend quality, intentional time together, and encourage her to join friendships or programs where she feels valued and supported.
Practice active listening: When she’s upset, ask open-ended questions to help her name her feelings before jumping in with solutions.
Recognize small wins: Encourage a growth mindset by celebrating when she shows progress, not just perfection.
Remember: These strategies come from girls who've been where your daughter is now!
These lessons remind us that confidence isn’t built in a day—it’s nurtured through every small step, courageous choice, and supportive moment.
With the insights shared here, you have more tools to help your daughter grow into her most resilient, authentic self.
You’re doing great. ZGiRLS is here for your family.
ZGiRLS equips girls aged 11-14 with the mental health tools and resources to build lifelong confidence, resilience, and unwavering self-worth. Learn more about how we help tweens and teens realize their fullest potential.