Teen Girls’ Biggest Fears—and How They’re Learning to Tackle Them
When you think of fears, maybe you picture zombies or haunted houses. But for many adolescent girls, the scariest things aren’t the ones that go bump in the night—they’re fears like being left out, feeling judged, or failing at something important.
We recently asked girls in the ZGiRLS Confidence Program to share their biggest fears, and their responses highlight the real insecurities many face daily.
What do teens say they’re afraid of?
Some of the most common fears girls shared included:
Not being good enough
Disappointing their parents
Getting bad grades
Feeling left out or lonely
Being made fun of or bullied
Failing at something important
Being misunderstood or judged
Scary… right?!
This aligns with recent RoX Girls & STEM Impact Report findings, where 55% of girls said they’re too afraid to lead out of fear others may think they’re bossy. A whopping 67% also said that they don’t speak up or disagree out of fear of being disliked.
How to tackle fear and boost self-confidence
In our Confidence Program, we teach a simple but powerful method from The ZGiRLS Curriculum™ called “Name It” and “Tame It” to help teen girls manage these fears and build resilience.
The “Name It” and “Tame It” Method
Step 1: Identify a challenge that scares you (and is within your control).
It’s normal to feel intimidated by situations, especially ones that matter to you. Think about a specific challenge that’s in your control. It could be something like telling a friend how you feel after being left out.
Example: Telling a friend I felt left out after not being invited to her party.
Step 2: Name the fear or emotion holding you back from tackling that challenge.
Pinpoint the exact emotion or fear behind the challenge. Whether it’s fear of rejection, feeling alone, or something else, naming it makes it less powerful.
Example: I’m afraid of being rejected and feeling alone.
Step 3: Tame that fear by taking small steps, even when it’s scary.
This is where bravery comes in! Taming the fear doesn’t mean it disappears—it means choosing to take action even with the fear in the background.
Example: When I’m brave, I talk to my friend about feeling left out because I value our friendship and want to stay connected.
By going through this process, girls learn that bravery isn’t about never feeling afraid. It’s about taking action even when fear is present. This aligns with the ZGiRLS approach of cultivating a growth mindset, where challenges are seen as paths to improvement rather than roadblocks.
Each small, brave step they take helps build real resilience, confidence, and inner strength.
Practical tips to support her bravery
This spooky season, consider encouraging your daughter to take on a small, meaningful challenge.
It doesn’t have to be a big leap—maybe it’s speaking up in class, trying out for a new team, or having an honest conversation with a friend.
RELATED: How to help teens express big emotions in a healthy way
Facing fears in small ways helps her build resilience and shows her she’s capable of much more than she may realize. Remember, being brave doesn’t mean being fearless. It means acknowledging your fears and choosing to move forward anyway.
By supporting her as she takes these steps, you’re helping her grow confidence from the inside out, preparing her for the inevitable “haunts” and hurdles life will bring.
Here are a few simple ways you can encourage her:
Celebrate small victories: Recognize and praise even the smallest steps she takes toward facing her fears. Each step is a building block for her self-confidence.
Listen and validate her feelings: Let her express what scares her without judgment. Validating her fears shows her that it’s okay to feel nervous or unsure—and that you’re there to support her.
Model courage in everyday life: Share times when you’ve felt scared but acted bravely. You can also process this out loud with her. Hearing your experiences helps her see that bravery requires practice, even for adults.
By encouraging your teen to name and tame her fears, you’re helping her build the confidence to take on anything that comes her way—long after the Halloween decorations are packed away.
Here’s to cheering on her courage every step of the way!
You’re doing great. ZGiRLS is here for your family.
ZGiRLS equips girls ages 11-14 with the mental health tools and resources to build lifelong confidence, resilience, and unwavering self-worth. Learn more about how we help tweens and teens realize their fullest potential.