4 Ways Parents Can Support Their Teen Daughter’s Confidence Journey
Most girls struggle with self-doubt. The second-guessing, the perfectionism, the comparison. These are all responses to the world making her feel like she needs to make herself feel small in order to fit in.
As a parent of a teen girl, it can be really hard to watch your daughter struggle with insecurities and suffer from self-doubt. You don’t want her to hold back. You want her to be the best version of herself and thrive.
The thing about confidence is that it’s not something someone can give you. It has to be learned and nurtured throughout our phases in life.
Understanding confidence and teen mental health
While your daughter will be on her own journey of discovering what makes her feel confident, you can be there to support her along the way.
Here are four ways you can support her confidence journey:
Practice reframing self-talk
When you hear her saying negative comments about herself aloud, this is a window into her internal self-talk. Responding with validation and guidance can help her reframe these thoughts.
Let’s use a scenario to put this into context. Imagine your daughter is putting on her soccer socks before a game and says, “I don’t even want to go. I’m going to mess up just like last time.”
In this moment, you could guide her into a new mindset by saying: “I can understand you’re nervous. That’s totally normal. Let’s get into a more productive mindset before we drive to your game. How can you replace that negative thought?”
The goal is to get her to reframe her negative mindset like "I’m going to mess up” into a productive mindset → "I have practiced all the skills I need to succeed. I can do this."
With time (and your support), she will regulate this mental framework totally on her own.
Acknowledge her wins, both big and small
It's common to congratulate her when she wins a game or aces a test. But it’s equally important to acknowledge the small victories that show her resilience and growth.
For example, when she feels hurt by a friend and makes the brave choice to have an honest conversation, or when she’s benched during a game but remains positive and supportive of her teammates from the sidelines—these are moments of courage worth recognizing.
When you notice these small actions (that actually take a lot of courage!), be sure to tell her.
Your verbal encouragement helps her see that it’s not just about external rewards; the small acts of resilience matter too. This builds her confidence and reinforces the importance of inner strength.
Celebrate her leadership
Leadership isn’t just about holding titles. Your daughter can impact others through her unique leadership abilities.
Help her to recognize that she is a leader in her own right!
Did she include someone who was feeling left out? Did she take initiative without being asked? Does she consistently encourage her teammates? These are all signs of leadership.
Make sure to acknowledge these moments: “I saw you being a leader today when you ____. I’m proud of you, great job.”
When she is continually told that she is a leader, she will start to believe it herself.
Invest in her continued growth
Confidence is an ongoing practice, and there are so many skills to master. We understand that as a parent, you might feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of raising a confident girl.
The good news is, you don’t have to do it alone. And let’s face it—teen girls don’t always want to listen to their parents’ advice!
Investing in outside resources is the best way to ensure your daughter is surrounded by a supportive community.
Getting involved in new activities is a great way for her to challenge herself, interact with peers, explore her passions, and find positive mentors.
Here are some confidence-boosting communities and activities to get your teen girl involved in:
Recreational sports
After-school clubs
Art programs
Coding classes
Community theater
Free events at the library
Local volunteer initiatives
Why supporting her mental health matters
Girls in their adolescent years are finding their own identity. The pressure they feel to fit in will always be present, but you know what helps them to feel confident in themselves? Celebrating their unique talents with words of encouragement.
When your daughter is surrounded by people who model positive self-talk and make her feel important, she will be on a stronger path toward building her own self-confidence.
Helping your daughter build confidence and manage her mental health during her preteen and teen years is vital for her long-term well-being. By supporting her with these strategies, you can help her navigate this critical period with resilience and strength.
You’re doing great. ZGiRLS is here for your family.
ZGiRLS equips middle school girls with the mental health tools and resources to build lifelong confidence, resilience, and unwavering self-worth. Learn more about how we help tweens and teens realize their fullest potential.