Your unconscious beliefs shape every aspect of your life. In any area of your life where you are not living like you crave, you’ve unconsciously decided against your own success and fulfillment. Being successful is not defined as having prestige, power and money, though these may be by-products. Being successful is living your life in alignment with your passions, your purpose and your authentic unapologetically beautiful self — confident and comfortable in who you are in your skin.
Feeling comfortable with who you are is critical to creating the life you crave. To live into it, you need to believe you deserve it and that it is within your reach.
I share this, because I know first hand what it’s like to feel completely uncomfortable. I didn’t feel comfortable in my skin because I was teased for what was on it. I used my interpretation of my experience to craft my story that if what was on my skin was displeasing to others, then I as a person must also be displeasing to them. As a result, I became a person whose mission it was to “please.” I became a diligent rule-follower, an excellent student, a dutiful assistant and a trusted confidante. I changed who I was being with others to reinforce the story I had created. The problem was that it didn’t make me feel any better about myself. In fact, it made me feel worse on many levels and my self-esteem and confidence suffered. The person I was being was not the person I was meant to be; it was who I thought I should be.
No one is immune to emotional scars or traumas. We have all had experiences that have made an impact on our lives whether in childhood or as adults. It’s how we’ve chosen to interpret those experiences that guides our choices from that point forward. How we think, feel and act are all tied to our interpretation of an experience, which then determines the outcome. Each outcome you achieve serves to reinforce your belief. Depending on the image you have created about yourself, this can create either a vicious or benevolent cycle. You see, your brain is a goal-achieving machine that can either work for you as a success machine or against you as a failure machine, depending on how you operate it and the goals you set for it. Your brain will seek and use evidence from your past to support the goal you set to create your outcome.
Here are a few commonly held beliefs. Do any of them resonate with you?
- Things never work out for me.
- I don’t know how to do it and I’ll do it wrong.
- I’m not [smart, good looking, strong, slender, talented …] enough.
- Other people can accomplish that but I can’t.
- There is nothing I can do about my [marriage, health, career, finances…].
- I can’t trust anyone.
Here’s the good news. Your beliefs are flexible and you can make a new empowering decision about yourself or any area of your life at any time. You can rewire your brain. Just as you create your self-image from your past experiences, you can change it by the same process.
Ready to turn your brain into a success machine?
Grab a piece of paper and divide it into three columns. On the far left write your beliefs and in the next column consciously design a new empowering decision to replace each of your existing beliefs. Help your brain achieve your goals by finding evidence from your past or present which supports your new decisions and write it in the third column. For example, if you take the belief “I’ll do it wrong” and replace it with “I can get it done with practice, persistence and patience,” can you find evidence from your past where this was true? I bet you can. Did you learn how to spell your name? Tie your shoe? Ride a bike? It doesn’t have to match up perfectly as you may not have done what you are craving to do yet, but you do have experiences that prove you are more than capable. Nothing is too small. It all counts, so write it down!
Remember, your brain is a goal achieving machine. When you make a new decision, you can kick your limiting beliefs to the curb and set yourself up for success and a lifetime full of peace, happiness and joy.
Written by Dr. Keira Barr, MDDual Board Certified Dermatologist, Author of The Skin Whisperer|| Everyone deserves to feel comfortable in their skin|| Redefining the delivery of skincare @drkeirabarr #skincare www.resilienthealthinstitute.com.